6 Things People Who Think They Speak Spanish Well Often Still Mess Up

Language is as close to infinity as imperfect humans get, invariably reacting to the unnecessary complexity and tainted society it currently serves.

I have professionally dedicated years and years to understanding both the soul and the intricacies of the Spanish language and am admittedly not finished.

New rulings by the big judge Academia Real Española, the endless online debates by self-appointed scholars and creativity's death by refusal to acknowledge that each country just says it differently has led me to accept that Spanish at the current time is both infinitely complex and imperfect.  

Most likely it is our fault, but whatever the case, I am of the opinion that it is unquantifiable hubris to believe one has actually "mastered" the mess and has nothing left to learn of Spanish.

Thus when I say there are 6 things people who think they speak Spanish well often still mess up, you can believe me when I say:

It's nothing to feel too bad about.

Without further ado... 

1) They struggle to reason with others because they can't do the "hypothetical tenses" correctly.

A hypothetical present/future idea is vital to be able to help someone to reason on the possible outcomes of a hypothetical present/future course of action.

"If we were to implement your suggestion, how would that make our oldest client feel?"

Many learners attempt to avoid the idea in favor of some other more basic grammatical structure, such as:

"If we implement your suggestion, how is our oldest client going to feel?"

Obviously it is a very similar idea, but the former is a bit less abrasive and a bit more reasonable.

The effect is slight, but the cumulative effect in an entire conversation is both noticeable and the difference between someone who sounds like they are ordering and someone who sounds like they are appealing to reason.

A hypothetical past idea expresses similar hypothetical possibilities, but in the past.

"Had we implemented your suggestion, how would that have made our oldest client feel?"

Sadly, a lot of advanced learners just simply butcher this idea from left to right in an attempt to avoid it.  Some often try some form of the past tense saying something like:

"If we implemented your suggestion, how did our oldest client feel?"

Just bad.

And what is most interesting is that learners and some native speakers alike make grammatical mistakes with both of these hypothetical ideas.

Sometimes you just have to buckle down, learn how it's supposed to be done and get used to it.

Your arguments in conversation will sound more respectable and persuasive.

2) They talk too fast.

Many native speakers in a lot of languages speak really fast because that is how they were raised or perhaps when they are nervous.  Nevertheless, it's not something that is praised neither in professional speaking nor in teaching where the goal is to be easily understood, reach the heart and motivate.

What's worse is that many advanced learners of Spanish try to speak really fast.  This may be because they are insecure and hoping they can get through what they are saying as quickly as possible—done and over with.  They may feel that if they speak fast, their errors won't be as noticed or meditated on.  Some may even try to speak fast just to sound like they are really good at Spanish. 

Regardless, please be assured that the errors are still noticeable, and it sounds even worse when someone tries to speak quickly with errors.

It is much better to go slowly and try to get it right in order to prevent the mistakes from becoming habitual.

While it is true that the patience of some may wear thin because of listening to another's slowness, it is ultimately the better option in both the short and long term for all involved. 

3) They make errors with the advanced parts of the subjunctive tense.

While the greatest consequence of these errors is simply sounding a bit uneducated, very few desire to sound that way.

The subjunctive mood could be divided into "want" ideas and "doubt/existence" ideas, and many advanced learners seem to have never learned the import of the "doubt/existence" ideas.

Consider that all of the following sentences are not subjunctive:

I think that she speaks Spanish.  I don't doubt that she speaks Spanish.  It's obvious that she speaks Spanish.

You might be able to understand why.

Now consider that all of the following sentences are subjunctive:

I don't believe that she speaks Spanish.  I doubt that she speaks Spanish.  It's not obvious that she speaks Spanish.  It's possible that she speaks Spanish.  It's not possible that she speaks Spanish.  It's probable that she speaks Spanish.  It's not probable that she speaks Spanish.  It's impossible that she speaks Spanish.

Do you readily understand why all of those are subjunctive?

Also, the past imperfect subjunctive is commonly done wrong, both "want" and "doubt/existence" ideas.

I wanted you to eat.  I never thought that she spoke Spanish.  It's good that you went to school.  

These should all get the past imperfect subjunctive, but many simply don't use the subjunctive, use the present subjunctive or otherwise do something entirely wrong.

4) They don't really understand the commands.

Coma.  Come.  Comas.  Comes.  Comemos.  Comamos.  Comen.  Coman.

Many learners seem to use any one of these words as commands according to what feels right to them at any given moment.  To put it frankly, many have almost no idea how to do the commands in Spanish.  Others seem to be completely unaware that whether a command is formal/informal, negative/affirmative or regular/irregular actually matters.

Consider the following commands:

Pon.  Ponga.  Come.  No comas.  Hable.  Tenga.

Do you understand when and why each is used? 

5) They are a bit lost with "could have", "should have" and "wish" ideas.

I admit that these ideas are hard and a bit inconsistent as far as what is common and accepted in Spanish.  That being said, it would simply be too much to try to categorize all the wrong ways even advanced learners try to say these ideas.

So, here are a few "right" options for you:

I could have done it, but I didn't have time.  Podría haberlo hecho, pero no tuve tiempo.

I should have done it, but I didn't have time.  Debería haberlo hecho, pero no tuve tiempo.

I wish I had done it, but I didn't have time.  Desearía haberlo hecho, pero no tuve tiempo.

6) They pretend they understand what others are saying.

Many advanced learners often don't understand what a native Spanish speaker is saying but are especially afraid to admit it.  Instead of asking the speaker to slow down and repeat so that they can actually learn, they often smile and stay quiet, looking at the person and hoping no one can tell they didn't understand.  The problem is, however, that usually nothing was said that should trigger a smile and sometimes a question was asked or a statement made that would normally trigger some sort of response from someone who actually understood. It ultimately turns out a bit weird that the learner is just smiling and looking at the speaker without saying anything.

Being able to fully understand someone speaking Spanish at full speed is usually the last step in the fluency process. Sure you may be able to get the gist of conversations, but there is a huge difference between getting the gist of a conversation and really understanding everything at full speed (without lying to yourself that you do). Even native Spanish speakers from certain countries can struggle in the beginning to understand other native Spanish speakers from other countries depending on a variety of factors—if the custom is to speak too fast, if the custom is to speak with one's mouth closed, if the custom is to speak in an incorrect, slightly uneducated way, if the custom is cut the syllables, if the custom is to use vocabulary specific just to that region and more.

Usually a native speaker will eventually get used to all of these weird factors, but the fact that even a native Spanish speaker struggles for a time shows how hard it will be for a learner to get to the point of being able to understand at full speed all native Spanish speakers.

It takes time, and there is no shame in asking the speaker to slow down and speak more clearly.

These 6 ideas should help you to get better, but remember, they are just the beginning.

It has often been said and applied in many different fields, but learning Spanish (and probably any language) really can best be thought of as a journey to be enjoyed rather than a goal to be achieved.

We can and should make improvement, but let's accept reality and acknowledge infinity.

The ones who do best are in it for the long haul. So buckle in and enjoy the ride, lest you thought that ride was almost finished.